The Good Girl's Guide to Being Bad

  The Good Girl’s Guide to Being Bad

  Text copyright © 2019 Airianna Tauanuu writing as Cookie O’Gorman

  All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without express permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.

  Cover Design © Stephanie Mooney. All rights reserved.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  TITLE PAGE

  COPYRIGHT

  DEDICATION

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  SADIE’S CARPE DIEM LIST

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  To Aunt Colleen, Aunt Pat and Mom

  I love you

  &

  To the good girls, the list makers, the dancers and dreamers

  This one’s for you

  I’d made it to senior year with my V-card still intact, which was easier to do than they made it seem in the movies. Heck, I’d gone all four years of high school without getting so much as a kiss. (I still refused to count that time with Billy Cunningham. Him attacking me, open-mouthed like a zombie, slobbering on my neck while I scrambled away, did not a kiss make. Gross.) Honestly, unlike some of my classmates, I’d never thought it was that big a deal.

  Still…

  …it was on my “Carpe Diem List”—the kissing, not the sexing…was that even a word? Gah, I was so out of the loop—but now it looked like even a kiss might be off limits.

  I closed my eyes, shook my head.

  The official documentation of my eternal virginal status was burning a hole in my hand.

  Complete and utter devastation.

  This wasn’t happening. Career Aptitude Tests could be wrong, right? Right? The problem was I’d hoped this test would give me some direction, tell me what to do with my life. Everyone else in our graduating class seemed to know what they wanted to do, but I had so many interests in so many different things that…yeah, I’d needed this. The CAT was supposed to be my guide. My gaze snapped open and stuck on the one sentence that would change my life forever.

  Based on the test results, Sadie Elizabeth Day is ideally suited for a career in…

  “Religious or Clerical work?” My best friend barked a laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  I frowned. “I wish. What’d you get?”

  “Arts and Entertainment,” he said. “Duh. But Sadie…it says you’re meant to be a nun!”

  “Kyle,” I hissed, glancing around the crowded hall. Everyone had likely already heard. I mean, this was the kinda thing that made headlines in high school, and Mrs. Jeffries had (to my horror) announced the results aloud. But still. “Holy smokes, could you say it any louder? I’m thinking they might not have heard you in the freshman building.”

  “Sorry, sorry.” His eyebrows rose. “But I thought that rumor was a joke. A nun? Seriously? Sadie, there’s no way.”

  And there was my best friend. “Aww, thanks I--”

  “Black and white are so not your colors.”

  And there was his inner smart aleck.

  “Plus, good luck fitting all that amazing hair under a habit.”

  Kyle reached up and pushed a long blond strand behind my ear.

  “You’re hilarious,” I said, fighting down a blush, hoping he didn’t notice.

  The strand of hair stayed for about a second before springing back out. Kyle was right, of course. My hair had always been unruly. Curling even after multiple passes of the straightener, frizzing at the smallest sign of humidity, slipping out of any rubber band. It was wildest thing about me.

  But man…a nun???

  “There has to be a mistake,” he said suddenly. “You’d make a terrible nun. You can’t even sing.”

  “What does that have to with anything?”

  Kyle tsked like I’d asked the dumbest question ever. “All nuns can sing. Just look at Julie Andrews, Whoopi Goldberg, Sally Field--”

  “Hey, genius,” I cut in, “those are all fictional nuns.”

  “Au contraire,” Kyle said, holding up a hand. “Let’s not forget The Sound of Music was based on a true story. I sincerely doubt the Captain would’ve fallen for Fraulein Maria, played by the incomparable Julie Andrews, if she hadn’t been able to carry a tune. And you, my dear sweet bestie, are no Julie Andrews.”

  I shook my head. “Why are we friends again?”

  “Hey, it’s not my fault you’re 100% tone deaf.” Kyle sniffed, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair. “As to why we’re friends…well. You’ve always had excellent taste.”

  “In desserts, yes. In best friends, well…I’m not so sure.”

  He gasped, head thrown back. “You wound me.”

  Despite myself, I laughed.

  If I hadn’t fallen in love with Kyle Bishop Jr. in my formative years, everything might’ve been different. But what fifth-grade girl in her right mind could resist when he was oh-so-fine? And nice…and clean-cut…and polite…and everything I’d been Stockholm-ed into thinking was “prince charming” by good ol’ Walt Disney?

  Kyle, my first boyfriend, had been all that and more. We’d watched movies together while he braided my hair, played dress up with Kyle being pirate to my assassin-disguised-as-damsel-in-distress—Kyle could work wonders with a mascara wand. We held hands, passed notes, shared lunches. And it was perfect. I’d thought it was love. I’d thought we’d be together forever, married with kids, happily ever after.

  Until he came out to me in the eighth grade.

  The funny thing was it hadn’t changed anything—nothing important, anyway. Knowing that he’d never love me back hadn’t made even a dent in my affection for Kyle.

  I guess that should’ve been my first clue.

  Being in love with your best friend? Not so bad.

  Being in love with your gay best friend? Even after you find out he’s gay? Yeah, there was no getting past that one.

  Besides, far as I knew, high school guys didn’t go for girls who A) had crazy hair and too many curves, B) literally would pick a cardigan and pearls (they were just so classic!) over anything remotely on trend and C) always had their nose stuck in a book.

  Ah crap, maybe I was destined to be a nun.

  “Hey, Sister Sadie, wait up!”

  “Jerk alert,” Kyle muttered as Zayne Humphreys and crew stepped up to us, his usual smug grin in place. Besides being born with a name that immediately put him on the douche list, Zayne was the typical jock/jerk combo. His sport of choice: lacrosse. His favorite targets: me and my best friend. The three of us had gone to school together since middle school. Kyle and he had despised each other nearly as long.

  “Did you want something?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he said, “I have some things I need to confess.”

  I sighed. This had been happening since we got
the CAT results in homeroom.

  “Ah come on, Sister Sadie.” His lacrosse buddies snickered at the nickname. “Since you’re all tight with the big guy upstairs, could you put in a good word for me? I’ve been a bad boy, and I’d appreciate the help. Unlike you, I party every weekend, get drunk, hook up—there’s been a lot of hooking up.”

  The laughter got even louder as I blushed. But seriously, who said things like that?

  “Isn’t it like your job to pray for us sinners and all that?”

  “Newsflash,” Kyle said, “she’s not actually a nun.”

  “Not yet.” Zayne shifted to face him, that stupid grin still in place. “But she will be, right? I’m just getting my confessions in early.”

  “I think you’re beyond my help,” I said.

  “Oh and why’s that?”

  “Douchebaggery isn’t a sin. It’s an incurable disease.” I shook my head sadly. “Sorry, I can’t help you there.”

  Zayne wasn’t smiling anymore, and his co-captain Billy Cunningham (yes, that Billy) took a step toward me. “Is there a cure for being a bitch?” Billy said. “‘Cause you could use some of that.”

  “Hey,” Kyle said, frowning. “That was out of line.”

  Billy shrugged him off. “She started it.”

  Kyle’s turn to shrug. “Actually, your boy here started it, and Sadie’s my best friend. I won’t stand by and listen to you idiots badmouth her.”

  See, this was why I fell for the guy in the first place.

  “Back off, faggot.”

  “Hey!” I snapped. “Don’t talk to him like that.”

  Billy scoffed. “Who’s going to stop me? You or your faggot friend?”

  I was about to speak up, tell Billy to shut the heck up, when a long arm came to rest heavily around Billy’s shoulders, making him grimace. A moment later, a new voice joined the conversation. A voice I loathed to the tips of my toes.

  “Now, now,” it said, low and soft. “There’s no need for name calling.”

  Luckily, today he wasn’t focused on tormenting me.

  “Speaking of which…are nuns supposed to use words like ‘douchebaggery’?”

  Or maybe he was.

  “I’m thinking that would be a black mark on your record, Sister.”

  Rolling my eyes, I looked up and came face to face with my long-time nemesis. Colton Bishop was the spitting image of Kyle—they were identical twins, same ocean blue eyes paired with ink black hair, same long, lean frame—except where my bestie was all preppy Prince Charming, his twin would definitely be the villain of any story. Unlike Zayne, Colton was a true bad boy. Everything from his rep for getting into fights to his playboy persona to his I-don’t-give-darn attitude put me off. He grinned at my look of disdain and cocked a pierced eyebrow. I would’ve killed to be able to pull off that look.

  Instead, I said, “For the hundredth time: I am not a freaking nun.”

  Blue eyes looked me over, taking in my beat-up sneakers and well-worn jeans, my gray cardigan, pearls and my crazy hair. His eyes were twinkling by the time they met mine.

  “If you’re going to dress like that, you might as well be.”

  “Colt,” Kyle said, shaking his head. “You may be my brother, and I love you dearly. But I’m going to laugh the day she decides to punch you in the face.”

  “She wouldn’t,” he smirked. Seeing his attention was elsewhere, Billy tried to wriggle away, but Colton tightened his grip. “She’s too good for that.”

  “I wouldn’t count on it.”

  “Plus, she loves this face.” I felt my cheeks getting hot as he sent a knowing nod his brother’s way. “Isn’t that right, Sadie?”

  Through gritted teeth, I said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Every girl loves it,” he said with a wink. “You just won’t admit it.”

  Kyle shook his head again. “Seriously, man. Twenty bucks says she does it before graduation.”

  “Twenty? I’ll take that bet.”

  “Knew you would.” They shook on it, and I shook my head.

  “It’s just too easy. Sadie would never do something so violent.”

  “One of these days,” Kyle said, smiling as my glare intensified, “she’s going to do it, Colt. Just punch you in the face.”

  Colton pretended to think for a second. “Do nuns actually punch people in the face?”

  I threw my hands up and started walking in the opposite direction.

  “But Sister Sadie, I wasn’t done confessing!” Zayne called to my back just as Colton said, “Now, Billy boy, are you going to apologize to my brother, or are we going to have a problem?”

  Ignoring them both, I reached my locker—but couldn’t get in because Jeff Chan and his girlfriend Addison Corbin were going at it again. Every day I saw them making out. Every day I was almost late for History because of it. And every day I thought: geez, don’t their lips ever get tired?

  I cleared my throat. Loudly.

  The two separated long enough for Addison to shoot me a glare and for Jeff to say, “Sorry, Sister,” before they moved down a locker. Two seconds later, their lips were once again suctioned together.

  “Don’t call me that,” I muttered, quickly exchanging my books.

  Sniffling brought my attention to the girl across the hall.

  Could’ve been worse, I thought. I could’ve run out of homeroom crying like Serena Douglas. She’d turned white as a sheet when her results said she was destined to be a TV producer. For someone else, that would’ve been a great result—I, for example, would have been over-the-moon ecstatic. TV producer, life set on a course to Hollywood? Yes please, sign me up! But for Serena, who it was widely known had been training to join the Peace Corps and whose parents had taken her on missions overseas the past three summers, it was a dagger to the heart.

  “Hey, Serena,” I said. We weren’t exactly friends, but we’d been in the same homeroom since sixth grade. Plus, I could kind of relate to how she was feeling. “You okay?”

  “I’ve had better days,” she said, wiping the tears away. “How you holding up?”

  “Not too bad all things considered. Wondering if my hair will actually fit under a habit, trying to see if I remember all the lyrics to ‘Climb Every Mountain’. You know the usual.’”

  A surprised laugh escaped her. “You’re funny, Sadie. Thanks.”

  “I try.” I shrugged.

  “And hey, I guess as long as you wind up meeting your Captain von Trapp it might not be so bad,” Serena said.

  I nodded as she waved and walked away, her eyes looking less glassy than they had moments before. At least one of us was feeling better. The sting of my test results was still sharp, but unlike Serena, I chose to wallow in silence. Silence was good. Silence was relaxing. It was exactly what I needed—

  “For real, Sadie, where do you get these clothes?”

  Dear God, why? What had I done to deserve this?

  “Are they specifically designed to put guys off or is that an unintentional side effect?”

  Spinning around, I looked up into Colton’s eyes and forced a smile. “Is your voice specifically designed to make girls want to vomit or is that a side effect?”

  Colton, the jerk, laughed. “Touché.”

  “Where’s Kyle?” I asked before he could say more.

  “Still back there with the jock squad.” And sure enough, looking over his shoulder, I could see my bestie still talking to Zayne Humphreys of all people. He’d left me to deal with his brother solo. Great.

  “Did you make Billy apologize?”

  “Yeah,” he said, face suddenly serious. “Nobody talks like that about Kyle. Not while I’m around.”

  “Good,” I said. We couldn’t agree on anything else, but we agreed on this: Both of us wanted to protect Kyle. It was one of Colton’s only good qualities in my opinion. “I guess you’re not all bad.”

  “And I guess you’re still in love with my brother.”

  Eyes narrowed, I
shook my head. “Seriously, do you say things like that to make me want to run away from you? Because it’s working.”

  Instead of backing down, he leaned in. “Usually girls run toward me,” he said, voice low, “not away, but you never did. Why is that?”

  The question caught me off guard. Plus, for some stupid reason, his closeness made my heart beat faster. Ugh. My back was pressed against my locker, cool against my heated skin, my heart pounding as he stood close, close enough to smell his surprisingly pleasing aftershave. But this was Colton freaking Bishop for goodness sake.

  “Could you back off?” I said, trying to put a little distance between us.

  “No.”

  “No?”

  Colton shook his head, those blue eyes looking amused. “Maybe I’m just too much for a good girl like you.”

  You definitely are, I thought. But I’d die before admitting it.

  “Maybe that’s why you went for Kyle.” His lips tipped up at the corners. “A less hot, much safer choice.”

  “Hate to break it to you,” I said, lying through my teeth, “but you’re not that hot. And I’m not in love with him.”

  “Not in love with who?”

  Kyle joined us, and Colton eased away while I had a mini-panic attack. It wasn’t that I thought Kyle had overheard us. I just wouldn’t put it past Colton to out me to his twin, my bestie, and yes, the only guy I had ever loved.

  “Who’s Sadie not in love with?” Kyle repeated, looking back and forth between the two of us.

  “No one,” I said, begging Colton with my eyes. Kyle had no idea as far as I knew, none, and this would ruin our friendship. “I’m not in love with anyone.”

  Colton stared me down a second longer then finally said, “You think you are. One day somebody’s going to prove you wrong.”

  What the heck was that supposed to mean?

  “You guys are acting really weird,” Kyle said as I gaped at his twin. “And hey, thanks for the backup, Colt. Billy’s an asshole.”

  “No problem,” Colton said. The two clasped hands and did one of those one-armed guy hugs.

  Before I could really take in what was said, my phone went off. It was an email. It was the email I’d been waiting on for a month. But as I read, face paling the farther I went, it was so not the response I’d hoped for.